Chasing the Boogeyman

There is another boogeyman in the house. He has been identified and chased out! There have been several since John and I became parents. One particularly scary boogeyman was "Homeschooled kids won't have social skills." Since beginning to homeschool, my kids are happier, friendlier, and have better friendships than ever. They are friendlier to people of all ages, and don't hesitate to befriend someone outside their "age group." So we threw that boogeyman out as soon as we found him.

A boogeyman we've lived with for a long time is the "screen time" boogeyman. If you let children play on computers or watch TV too much, something bad will happen. They'll turn into zombies, they won't talk to their parents or each other. They won't develop their social skills, and they'll never get into college!



Denver enjoys building things on Minecraft.

We now have two televisions, two computers, a Wii, and two Kindles in the house; and guess what? The boys are as loud, curious, happy, and talkative as ever! In fact, as I write this, Denver is asking me constant questions about what different animals eat (in order to feed his minecraft animals) and how many stripes the American flag has (because he is creating a flag to fly over his minecraft castle).

The boys still like to go outside. They still like to be active. They love being with friends. They do their homeschool. They still like to read and be read to!

Much to my surprise, the boys seem perfectly capable of identifying when they are ready for a break from a game; and they take that break without being told. Could it be that they have learned to recognize their needs instead of being told what their needs are?

Until just last year, we had a "screen time" daily limit. I see no need for it anymore. Sure, the boys love to spend time discovering new games and activities on our computers and Kindles. So do I! They also enjoy curling up in the living room for a movie with me in the evening. But the parental fears about "too much" screen time have not come to pass.

They love to talk to each other about the games they are playing. They like for me to watch, and they like to explain everything to me. I've found that even "non-educational" games invite a lot of learning.



We are delighted to cast out another boogeyman from the closet of parental fears. And just in time for Halloween, too!

Lucky 13

John Robert Degonia is thirteen today. He swam 4 1/2 miles before lunch, and then ate three lunches before mid-afternoon. It was his birthday, but he didn't ask to take a day off swim practice. He went straight from swim practice to a Saturday movie matinee with his daddy, Paw Paw, and brother, Spencer. When he got home, it was early evening, and he hadn't even opened his gifts. We sang Happy Birthday and then he politely opened his new Kindle and new book before going upstairs to read.

Polite and gentle to everyone, John Robert is growing into a fine young man. He is smart and capable. He has friends and a variety of interests. He loves his brothers and is kind and generous with them nearly always. He rarely loses his temper, and is usually calm and thoughtful. I adore him, and I feel so lucky to know him. He helps make me a better parent.

Thirteen years ago, he was this new little person I struggled to understand and care for. I still study him-- he is changing so much! And I still search for the best ways to meet his needs. I used to sing to him, rock him, and cuddle him. He doesn't want much of that anymore. He wants me to take him to play paintball and not hug him in public. Times have changed. But he is still my Little Jobert. It's just that he is six feet tall and his feet are HUGE.

Seven Happy Birthdays

Happy Birthday, Denver!

His Lordship is Seven years old today. The festivities began with gifts upon waking (which Denver had requested in advance!). After a yummy breakfast and a Happy Birthday phone call from Nana and Papa Dale, Denver left for a trip to the Atlanta Center for Puppetry Arts with good buddy Alex. They saw The Dragon King and made puppets.

Today was the first time Denver chose to spend time away from me on his birthday. It was a little sad to watch him ride away-- not even looking back-- already deep in conversation with his friend.

The rest of the day is a blur of happy activities-- loading games and books on Denver's new kindle (Thank you, Nana!), watching the boys enjoy their new Batman Wii game, taking care of the usual homeschool activities with Spencer and John Robert. Late in the afternoon, Denver had a surprise visit from our friend, Quinn. Bearing gifts of chocolate and a Batman figurine, Quinn and his family were well recieved by his majesty!

Alex and Denver show off their new dragon puppets.

In the evening, we enjoyed celebrating with Mimi and Paw Paw. Mimi made an Egyptian themed cake and gave Denver a wonderful gift-- a new Skylanders game! The boys had been hoping to get it for Christmas-- they were overjoyed when they realized their good fortune.





The best part of my day was hearing the answer to the question, "Denver, what did you wish for?"

Denver glanced up from his cake after having blown out his candles and smiled. "Nothing," he said. "I have everything."



The Dragon King puppet show.



Spencer and Denver show off

the new Kindle.







Snoopy . . . Denver's gift from Alex.



Denver is King for the Day.





 











Denver shows off both his new game
and the crown made for him by Spencer.







His Lordship closes in on Lucky Seven



Denver enjoys scary books as Halloween approaches!



In two days, my baby will be seven. He is opinionated, curious, and quite bossy. A friend and I refer to him privately as "His Lordship." :-) Denver cannot WAIT for his birthday which is only two days away. He has been counting down for over a hundred days! In fact, he is sitting close to me now, waiting for me to hurry up so we can go pick out his birthday cake. He doesn't want me to surprise him with a cake because it might not be "right".

Lately, Denver has become an Ancient Egypt enthusiast. Luckily, his brothers have been through this passion as well, so we have many books and activities on hand to share. This past week, we went to a museum and saw "real" mummies, shabtis, and many other fascinating relics from that time. When the other boys were ready to move on to another section, Denver became angry and insisted that I stay there with him until he decided to leave.



Denver . . . aka King Tut . . . has become fascinated
with ancient Egyptian gods.



Denver is reading more easily now. He breezes through his homeschool before lunch and dives right into whatever he is excited about that day. Like a lot of natural leaders, he is very easy to be around as long as your answer is "yes." Speaking of saying yes, it is time for his Lordship to pick out his cake. He set a timer giving me 30 minutes to be ready, and it's ringing.

Spiraling into Learning



Do you see the jack-o-lantern?  The witch?
The zombie?  The red gremlin?



When I slow down, I see more and differently.

How about you?





When I slow down, when my to-do list is shorter, I have time to see so much more deeply. With my boys, that often means seeing learning where I used to only see goofing off or relaxing.

This past weekend, Denver and I began playing with wooden tiles, and he/we created a Halloween picture. The next day, after watching him wear pants on his head and pretend to be an Egyptian pharoah, I offered to read a story to him about two children who discover they have inherited magical powers from ancient Egyptian gods. Denver loves it. Now he wants me to keep reading Rick Riordan's Red Pyramid. As I read to him, we discuss ancient mythology, word meanings, history, and lots of other fun stuff. We don't have to call it school or English or History. It's just a cuddly way to spend a morning.

The truth is my boys are curious, wonderful, and intelligent. They don't need to be motivated to learn. They are ready to follow their curiosity around the corner, out the door, and around the world. When I slow down, I can see their minds churning and thoughts developing. It doesn't look like school. It's better.



Spencer plays his Roman strategy game
while wearing his Roman helmet.

Denver's new airplane soars through
the sky.



When do we grow up?



Denver taught me how to take pictures
using the heat sensor feature on the ipad.


My poor mom . . . I remember her sighing deeply and saying, "Kim, when will you ever grow up?"

As a child, I thought of "growing up" as a sort of finish line. When you crossed it, you'd be complete . . . like a car rolling off the assembly line. Right?

I don't know. I'm 45 years old, but I don't yet feel grown up. It seems every day I make a new discovery or find some new idea to consider. I have three jobs, three children, a mortgage, a husband, an unruly dog, and lots of responsibilities, but I don't feel that I've crossed any sort of finish line yet. Okay, I've run a few races with finish lines. The weird thing about finish lines is that after you cross one, you start to think, "Okay, what's next?"

As I watch my children growing and changing, I see them becoming different people than they used to be. Talents bloom, interests rise and fall, their bodies change. Their needs change. This keeps me on my toes, always watching to see how best to respond.

I'm definitely not done learning. There is so much to know! I may be middle aged; but Mom, I'm not yet grown up!