Embracing the Catastrophe and Letting Go of the Weatherman

The moon over the mountains outside Telluride, Colorado; taken by John.
The following day, a blizzard blocked out the view.

A famous author wrote (and I paraphrase), "I once had a spouse, kids, house, job . . . the whole catastrophe."  I love his words because they remind me that our daydreams about "how life will be" are often alarmingly off target.

The lesson for me has been to make fewer predictions, not try to change the weather.  In fact, I am learning to just enjoy (or accept) whatever the day brings.

Beginning with marriage to an outgoing adventurer and progressing from having one baby together to having three sons, three part-time jobs, and a heavily shedding, slobbery dog; I, too, am blessed with the whole catastrophe.

In order to feel less swept away by the swirling blend of voices and needs surrounding me, I used to arrange a lot of structure in our lives-- school, sports, lessons, activities, field trips, chores.  (I'm referring mostly [but not exclusively!] to the lives of my children).  Some of it was good; but much of it was more about my discomfort with not being able to predict what the day (and my children) would be like than it was really about the needs of my children and family.  I wanted to create the weather; I wanted to predict what the day would bring.

Thankfully, as our family's time together has expanded through homeschooling, my need to control the boys has contracted.  I more deeply enjoy and appreciate the boys' natural rhythms and interests.  I am often at ease with the sun, wind, clouds, and even the rain that flows through our days.

Enjoying lunch together at the Space & Rocket Center.

Instead of imagining what I want our days to be like and then trying to impose my vision on my family, I have finally made the switch (mostly) to looking at my children and seeing what they actually need to be joyful and fulfilled.  It seems simple but it was a huge shift for me.  And it works.

There is more laughter in the house now; but it isn't part of a lesson plan.  There are more experiments, more sing-a-longs, more late nights and slow mornings.  There is more learning than I'd ever dreamed of prior to homeschooling, although much of it deals with subject matter that I could never have predicted: how do you craft bread on Survivalcraft?  Sometimes the house is alarmingly cluttered and the boys have learned how to place the couch cushions just so the holes in the couch don't show.  It's the whole catastrophe.  And I love it.

Making Space for Adventure

Making Memories

As much as I adore books and reading, it has been my observation that experiences teach more than words.  With John off work for four days and excited about doing something with the family, we loaded up our bags and set a course for Huntsville, Alabama and the U.S. Space & Rocket Center.

I enjoy museums.  I am passionate about the history of all kinds of ideas. But truthfully, space exploration has never been my thing.  The boys felt otherwise.

My Happy Astronauts

John Robert enjoyed figuring out how everything worked.  John enjoyed sharing his understanding with the boys.  John is extremely knowledgeable about how rockets work and the design problems the engineers overcame; and we all know he is a great storyteller!  It was a pleasure to share his company and his knowledge of space travel.  The boys really enjoyed having their daddy on this trip.

Spencer in front of the Lunar Module.

There were rocket simulators, hands-on activities, gigantic rockets, theme park style rides related to space travel, and space capsules you can play in. All the boys loved the experience, and everyone got along really well the whole day.  Oh yes, and don't forget Dippin' Dots-- that beloved freeze dried ice cream eaten by actual astronauts!

After many hours, many exhibits, and much interest, Spencer and I stood near the exit waiting for everyone else.  A group of about 30 children walked passed, all in matching shirts, led by teachers and chaperones.
"That's how school is," Spencer muttered to me after they passed.
"What do you mean?," I asked.
"Everyone get over here; look at me and Listen!," Spencer perfectly mimicked the teacher's shrill voice.
I smiled.  "It is nice to get to explore whatever you're interested in at your own pace," I agreed.
I'm so glad we can homeschool!

Denver inside the Mercury capsule.

Spencer admires an early two man submarine.

   

Spencer and Denver
are Go for Launch!

The boys take an exciting ride
shooting up from the earth and
plummeting back down safely.
Someone had to stay on the ground
and take the picture!

Two Buddies chillaxin' at the hotel.

The rest of the trip was filled with the delights of the hotel swimming pool, and a trip to Southern Adventures for go carts and video games before packing up and heading for home.

Time and money well spent.      

A rare photo of the
elusive John Robert.

Spencer and John Robert are ready to roll!

After the museum, the boys
loved the heated pool
at the hotel.

Go Cart racing at Southern Adventures!

All of my Boys at Southern Adventure.
I can't wait for the next one!

Opening my Eyes

I often focus on how I want my life to be rather than appreciating what it is. This morning, after a run with Lady, I saw the beauty all around me-- and I simply wanted to share with you.

Choosing Joy-- or going from draft horse to songbird.

Heirloom tools for those days when I choose to bake.

I often hear people talking about all the things they "have to" do. I understand. I used to use that phrase too. One of my dearest friends has the habit of talking about how "hard" I work; how "busy" I am; and how she doesn't see how I "do" it. These phrases make me feel like a draft horse instead of a songbird.

Have To creates a burden on one's life. It steals the joy. We actually "have to" do very little. We do have choices. We can choose what brings us the most joy.

For instance, I don't have to cook for my family. We could eat fast food. I could teach the boys to cook for themselves. I could prepare a smorgasbord of snack food from the fridge and allow everyone to just graze when they feel like it. I've made each of these choices at times. Yet, I often choose to prepare a fresh, delicious meal because I choose to support and nurture my family and myself. It's a choice. And it brings me joy.



As I clean the dishes, I love to look at these treasures:
a hawk's feather found by Spencer at Charlie Elliot, a rock
shaped like a heart discovered by John Robert when he was
four; and a quartz crystal given to me by Denver.



Whether it's deciding to clean the house, take the boys on a field trip, accepting additional work outside the home to supplement our income, or choosing to exercise so that I'll feel better; all of these are choices. We don't "have to."

Anytime you feel a "have to" riding on your back, you might try shaking it off and examining it. See if you can identify at least one other choice. See if you can embrace the choice that brings you the most joy. Don't forget to whistle while you work.

The Art of Growing Boys...

Learning is a little like watching a plant grow. No matter how closely I examine, it is difficult to verify that anything is happening at that moment without damaging the plant.

But as time passes, I can see that much has happened, quietly and naturally; and with only the most simple support from me-- time, space, sunshine, and a fertile and peaceful learning environment.

Denver with dinosaur counters for math.



John Robert is a blur
as he eats a bagel,
puts on his shoes,
and dashes out the door
for swim practice.





Denver chops apples
to make an apple pie.



Spencer and Denver devouring library books.

What's the Plan for Tomorrow?

The boys often ask me as we lie down in the evening, "What's the plan for tomorrow?"

Spencer and Denver create a Living Hand!

In response, I tell them everything I know: where we are planning to go, what we have planned to do. Then I ask, "What would you like to do tomorrow?" Sometimes they have suggestions, and we include those activities in our day. Often times they are content just to know what to expect.





The truth is . . . I don't really know what's going to happen. My plans usually change in one way or another. If I listed everything we've been doing over the past two weeks, it would not look like a proper teacher's plan; it would look like an itinerary planned by a fool!

* A day of science experiments with baking soda and vinegar
* An afternoon of reading about knights

* A trip to Fernbank to see the new Whales exhibit

* How to turn geometry into a drawing class
* An art history and painting class
* Pancake dinner with Paw Paw

John Robert inspecting the skeleton
of a sperm whale.

* A weekend of watching John Robert swim his best times at Georgia Tech



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Yet . . . it all seems to come together somehow; even as my lesson plans get passed over for something more intriguing. I think I know who's in charge of tomorrow's lesson plans; and He has something surprising and perfect in store for us.

Denver loves this Knight book
that allows you to make choices
about what you would do, and then
turn to the chosen page to see

what happens to you.

Sometimes it's good to know that the One in charge isn't me. :-)





Thinking about geometric shapes.

John Robert listens attentively (as always)
 to his coach's critique.

Still thinking about geometric shapes!

John Robert is crouched on the far right
listening for the gun.





A proud daddy.



Denver renamed his painting, "Starry Hills."



Spencer is very pleased with his interpretation

of Van Gogh's "Starry Night."