What are we Testing?

"Now that's a good cup of Joe."

Denver completed his annual testing today.  I had never seen him work so hard and so long.  He wanted to be done with homeschool for the summer; and this test was the last hurdle.  He clawed his way to the finish line, closed his book, threw down his pencil, and began dancing and singing, "Everything is awesome!  Everything is cool when you're done with your testing!"

Like his brothers, Denver took the Iowa Test of Basic Skills (ITBS), renown nationally for its thoroughness. After assisting Denver in his testing, however, I have to say that I'm no longer confident in its assessment.

One of many funny examples:

There were three pictures: a tent in the rain, a tent on a sunny day, and a tent in the dark.  Because the pictures were just little black and white sketches, it was a little difficult to ascertain what they were at first.
 The question:

Spencer and Denver especially enjoyed seeing
  local police dog Nina demonstrate her skills
with her handler, Lieutenant Cripps.

Under which circumstance is it most difficult to start a fire?
Denver's answer, which he spoke aloud as he reasoned: "Well, it would be pretty easy on a sunny day unless it's windy and you really can't tell.  It would be hard to start a fire in the rain.  But it would be impossible to start a fire on the moon because there is no atmosphere and no oxygen."  Denver began filling in the circle under the picture of the tent at night.  I could see why he thought it was the moon-- the ground was white and the background was black with stars.  It did look like a scene on the moon.  And didn't it show a greater knowledge of science to answer the question the way he did?  Still, he got that one wrong.

I learned more about Denver sitting beside him during his testing week than I have learned in a long time.  He is intelligent, thoughtful, and quite knowledgeable.  He is quick to learn new things-- like when I had to explain what alphabetical order meant.  He answered every question correctly even though it was a brand new idea to him.  His reasoning, although sometimes leading to a wrong answer, is quite logical.

So now he gets a little break from his "brutal" homeschool schedule-- even more time now for minecraft and Legos Lord of the Rings!

Thoughts on John Robert

John Robert enjoys working and playing
on the computer.  We no longer limit
the amount of time he can play.

Prior to homeschooling, John Robert (then 11), had begun worrying about "being cool."  He began worrying about his clothes, his behavior, and whether or not his interests were acceptable to his school friends.  In order to avoid being teased, he was losing himself to an image he felt the need to create.

This image did not include loving academic work.  It did not include being loving and accepting of his family. His father and I had become somewhat of an embarrassment to him, as had his brothers.  I was told by other parents and parenting experts that this was normal.  It might be normal; but it didn't feel healthy.

After two years of homeschooling, most of that has changed.

John Robert is now more loving toward his brothers than ever.  He gives me hugs and is extremely helpful and kind to both his father and me.  He does the family's laundry, keeps track of his own checking account, and doesn't have to be told to do anything-- although sometimes around noon, I do suggest he wake up!

John Robert's academic interests have returned with gusto, and in addition to becoming a Duke TIP scholar through his high SAT scores, he has chosen to attend a week long university math camp this summer-- for fun!  He has hobbies and a sport that he pursues with enthusiasm.  He definitely has clothing preferences, but they seem to be based on comfort.  They are definitely not based on fashion!

John Robert with brothers after a hike
at Charlie Elliot.

Where is the rebellion, the loud music, the eye rolling, the sighing and storming to his room? Could it be that more freedom creates less to rebel against?  Maybe more time with one's own thoughts allows a child to pursue his interests and be happier?  Perhaps more time with one's family creates richer opportunity for stronger, loving bonds.  Or maybe all the typical teenage stereotypes have just not yet arrived.


I don't have all the answers.  But last night I had a hug from a tall, sweet, teenager who is taller than me.  That is all the evidence I need that we are doing the best thing for our Jibber.

Jibby was very proud to have Nana and Papa Dale
drive all the way from Missouri to see him swim.

Mr. Hollow Leg

Easter Baskets, Chocolate Bunnies, and Three Boys

Swingin' into Spring!

Getting ready for the big egg hunt.

The days, weeks, and years fly past.  I capture a few moments to help remember as much as I can.

Between the dirty dishes and the growing feet of three boys, there are a lot of details to distract me from simply looking at them and sighing in wonder and gratitude.

Life, love, and laughter abound.   A supportive and loving family surrounds these little guys in a web that reaches out hundreds of miles to grandparents many states away.  Their baskets runneth over!  

Jibby got a new phone and he is so proud of it!

Darth Vader Easter eggs?!  Ahh . . . the joy of boys!

Denver is generous with the sprinkles
on the Easter cupcakes he helped bake.

Be Kind. Always.

The boys and friend at
The Atlanta History Center.

Hosta sprouting anew.

Inspired by a quote from Guideposts, these are the lines with which I begin this day:

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always."

The boys feast after their
airsoft battle this weekend.

Lady twitches, barks, and runs in her sleep.

Blurring the Lines between Work and Play

In an attempt to beat back the invasion of English Ivy in our back yard, John enlisted the help of Spencer and Denver and they burned the ivy yesterday.  It was a smoky mess that looked like work to me.

Denver the Star Wars Jedi
practices his skills.

For the boys, it was a fire rescue mission.  As John burned the ivy, the boys then raced in with buckets and put the fire out after the ivy had been burned.  They were airplanes swooping in and dumping their buckets. They laughed, they whooped, they ran in circles.  They sprayed the woods (and each other!) with the garden hose.  They came into the house smelling like burnt woods and dripping wet.

All this reminds me of a quote from a semi-famous homeschooling mom named Sandra Dodd:
If you can blur the line between work and play, you'll find more togetherness, more peace, and more learning.

Is there anything more joyful than leaping into spring with laughter and wet shoes?

Azaleas explode all over the yard!

Spring has sprung in Georgia.

John Robert rejoices in our  newly repaired laptop.

The boys with friend at the Atlanta History Center's
Homeschool Day on Famous Explorers

Spencer enjoys using our faster internet service
to complete his research.

Because I Want To

It is unpopular to admit that one is happy.  Have you noticed?  There is currently only one popular song about happiness, and it is already being heavily parodied.  My favorite line of the original song is, "Happiness is the Truth."  I love that line.  It's the same thing my yoga teacher always told me.  "Beneath all your thoughts, worries, and experiences, You are Peace and Joy."  I believe that.  I experience it.  But I don't tell very many people because they would think I was either bragging or lying.

The boys, friend, and hubby at the old Georgia capitol
in Milledgeville-- the place where state representatives
voted to secede from the Union.

A woman I know expressed fascination with what she called my "continual giving and sacrifice" for my children.  I laughed and suggested that if that is what she sees, then she is not ready to have children.  I tried to smile and be compassionate with her.  The truth is, I get annoyed when people speak of me or any other dedicated, homeschooling mom as some sort of martyr.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I do what I do because I want to.  

I am incredibly lucky to have three bright, healthy, handsome young sons.  I am just as lucky to be able to know them much better than most parents know their children.  As homeschoolers, we are together a lot. We talk, share, and simply spend time living with one another in ways that most families can't.  As a result, we had to cease pretense.  I know their weaknesses and they know mine; and we love each other anyway!  Everything I do for them I do for myself, too; because I want them to have a fun day, a clean home, tasty food, learn all the things they want and need to learn; and I want them to have a happy childhood.

Spencer and Hernando Desoto.

Denver created his own catapult!

It wouldn't occur to me that I should complain in a serious way-- about the cost of shoes, the number of times I drive to swim practice, all the homeschool lessons and field trips, or anything else related to my choice to become a mother.  My parents never complained about such things.  I thought they took care of me because they loved me and everything they did for me from cradle to college and beyond was all just an expression of their love.  It was all because they wanted to.  I want my boys to feel that love, too.

Denver and I enjoy
a morning snuggle
on the porch.

Lady poses in front of an azalea bush.

       

How Many Hours a Day do You Spend Learning?!

The kitchen often gets taken over by the boys for projects!

One day this week, we went to a park for the boys to enjoy nature and run off a little energy.  It was beautiful-- sunny and pleasant with flowers popping up everywhere we looked.  I was incredibly grateful to be here with my sons on this lovely day.

While the two younger boys played tag and John Robert read a book in the shade, I met a fellow homeschooling mom who was taking a walk with her (8th grade? 9th grade?) son.  I've known them both for nearly a decade, and I was delighted to bump into them.

During our conversation, however, I began to feel anxious.  The mom shared how many hours her son worked each day (six!).  John Robert never spends more than four hours a day on his traditional academic work, and he is the most dedicated one in the family!

The mom went into some detail about the textbooks, quizzes, essays, etc. that her son did to prove he was learning as well as the rigorous record keeping she did to document each lesson.  Her son stood beside her, smiling and seemingly content.  Their schedule seemed to work for them while I felt exhausted just trying to imagine such a life.  When she asked about our curriculum and hours, I had to admit that we had a much more relaxed schedule.  She opened her eyes wide in surprise.  I wanted to run away and hide!

What I wanted to say but couldn't:
When most of us think of learning, we think of school.  When we think of school, we think of textbooks, worksheets, and tests.  But learning can happen in so many ways-- not just the way a teacher has to do it when she has 25 students confined to a tightly controlled curriculum in one cinderblock room for 47 minutes a day five days a week.

We've found that learning can happen at any time, and it can look a lot like "just having fun."  In fact, I've begun thinking of our learning style as "learning without walls" rather than "home" school.  We choose not to recreate school at the kitchen table for most of the day.  That tedious way of learning is one reason the boys left school in the first place.  I didn't want to try to explain this to the wonderful mom and son at the park.  Their style appears to be working for them.  I just don't think it would work for us.  We would miss out on so much spontaneous learning.

For the past week, Spencer has been rereading a favorite book, Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction.  The book provides directions and diagrams for producing miniature projectiles from office materials.  (Just think . . . some employer was losing money on this guy as he sat around thinking of these activities instead of working.  I hope the employer gets a small percentage of the royalties since he probably furnished all the time and office materials!).

Investigative Reporter Denver Degonia.

Spencer repeatedly asked to be taken to the store to purchase additional materials-- pens, binder clips, confetti poppers.  He and his brothers then spent hours creating mini-b.b. guns and airsoft pistols yesterday.  It was reading.  It was physics.  It was engineering.  It was teamwork.  It was independence and success for a smiling and focused Spencer.  We were all delighted with the results.  And no one lost an eye.

Later in the day, Denver decided to dress up as a reporter.  Hat, clipboard, and camera in hand; he went around the house asking everyone's name and writing it down.  I don't know what his story was about, but I did see him writing for fun.

The mailing label on Denver's box with
pretend stamp.

After a full day of experimenting (plus some math, reading, and writing guided by Mom), I walked into the living room to see Spencer helping Denver get inside a large coffee pot box.  Spencer had cut a hole at face level so Denver could see out.  He handed Denver a water bottle and a granola bar and asked me whether we had any stamps and what time the mailman came before carrying Denver outside the door.  Denver asked to please be sent to China.  I shook my head.  Spencer has such an interesting way of turning his (perfectly understandable) fantasy into play-- notice there is no return address!

Six hours a day at the homeschool table would not work for us.  But there is no doubt these guys are learning all the time.  So am I.

What Does Learning Look Like? or Learning Math and Science the Fun and Easy Way

Denver displays his prize tickets
from Chuckie Cheese's

We didn't do much that looked like learning yesterday.  If you were looking for a teacher and textbooks and worksheets, you would have been disappointed.  After a little (less than a full hour) of reading, history, and traditional math work, I treated the boys to Chuckie Cheese's for lunch.  Denver had never been.  The other boys hadn't been in over seven years.  They had a ball.

After figuring out how many tokens each person should get (out of 120 tokens), the boys played games and ate pizza.  They decided to pool their prize tickets and split them evenly (336 divided by 3).  Then they each had to decide how to spend their prize points in order to get what they wanted and use up all their tickets. No easy task.  Yet no one complained that the math was too hard.  All the boys-- even Denver-- worked tirelessly to figure out how best to maximize his winnings.  There was no teaching, just problem solving.

Learning about science "happened" last night when I wanted to go to bed, but the boys wouldn't let me turn off the television.  Cosmos was on.  So was Brain Games, and a new show called The Numbers Game.  It was nearly midnight before we all got to sleep, but it was worth it for the fascinating science (physics, math, chemistry, astronomy).  We learned what happens when you place marshmallows in a vacuum (not a vacuum cleaner).  Most importantly, we learned why.  We learned about engineering explosives (perhaps not a wise choice), statistical studies, and the chemical workings of the human brain.  We learned about black holes, the theory of relativity, and the questions asked by famous scientists throughout history.  It was more science than I ever learned in a classroom.  And it just "happened" there in our living room, with the boys and I snuggled up together and eating snacks.

At the end of our hike today-- where we
talked about unfurling ferns and
the historical origins of April Fool's Day
(among other things).

There is so much to learn-- and endless buffet of questions to put on one's plate.  I am grateful to share so much of it with my boys.  I am deeply grateful to discover in adulthood what I didn't necessarily understand as a child: learning is everywhere; and it's fun.

John Robert with Nana and Papa Dale at the Divisional
Swim Meet Finals.