Another Ability UNLOCKED

Mission Accomplished:
Tying Ability Unlocked!

Today he did it.  On his birthday last week, he'd said "It's embarrassing.  I'm eight years old and I can't tie my shoes."

He began practicing: as we rode in the car to a swim meet, as we waited in the drive-thru at Chik-fil-A.  

Today on our way to Kroger, he squealed, "I did it!  I tied my shoe!"

Spencer was quick with a video game reference: "Another ability-- UNLOCKED."

And another simple but priceless memory to share.

Happy Birthday to our first born boy!

John Robert, age 7.

A lot happens in seven years.  A boy learns to read, tie his shoes, and conquer algebra.  He goes from wanting to be a paleontologist or train conductor to having an obsessive interest in science fiction, Nerf guns, physics, engineering, math, history, and assorted video games.  He learns to swim.  Then he learns to swim fast on a U.S.S. swim team.

Our Jibby is growing up.  

Just a year and a half ago, he was still a little boy!

Happy Birthday to my darling boy who taught me (and still teaches me) that gentle persistence, understanding, and a little laughter are the best gifts a mom can share.

John Robert Today; age 14

Respecting Children

As a parent, I challenge myself daily:

Can I respect my children enough to let them make their own decisions?  

Can I slow down and be willing to discuss choices instead of declaring the right answer?

Demanding respect from children is what most people seem to do.
Instead, I would like to be worthy of respect.  I do that by trying to remember that my children are also worthy of respect-- even when their hair and faces are messy and they're still in their pajamas when I told them an hour ago to get dressed.

It's not easy when we're running 15 minutes late and Denver insists he can tie his shoes.

Patience is priceless.

Magic Eight

My baby is eight.  He wanted a video game-- Plants vs. Zombies, nerf guns, and a chocolate cake to celebrate.  Gone are the days of little Joker cars and Batman action figures.

Denver spent a blissful day enjoying everyone's indulgent attitude toward him.  No homeschool.  Shopping with Nana and Mimi's birthday money.  Hours on the computer with no one telling him, "My Turn!"

Birthday Breakfast with his brothers

"Birthdays are better than Christmas," he announced that afternoon.

"Why is that, Pal?," I asked from the kitchen.  

John, Paw Paw, Mimi, and the
Birthday Boy

"You get gifts and everyone is really nice to you and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"Like share?"

Denver smiled sheepishly.  "Yes."  He bent his head over his video game again.

Denver and Spencer
played Nerf guns all afternoon.

Denver stayed up until nearly midnight to enjoy as much as possible of his birthday.  The next morning, I was cleaning scattered chocolate cake crumbs off the floor and the counter when he walked in, sleepy faced.

"That was really good cake," he said.

I turned to look at him, traces of chocolate icing still on his face.  Still a little boy for a while longer.

"I'm glad, Pal."

"I think I forgot to brush my teeth, though."

"Hmm....  Maybe so."  I smiled.  Denver tottered off to the bathroom.  Magic Eight.

If it's important to you, then it's important

Spencer tries out a different
kind of Halloween mask

Walking through the neighborhood, Spencer was talking in great depth about his ideas for Minecraft.  Suddenly he stopped and said to me, "I know it's not that important, but . . . "

I stopped him.

"If it's important to you, then it's important."  He looked at me, paused, then smiled and hugged me.

I'm finally learning to respect my child's interests instead of inserting my own.  Finally.

Denver and Audrey enjoy a game of
Plants vs. Zombies.

Denver perches on a post
at the playground.

Sunny Sunday

While John took Denver, John Robert, and a couple of friends to an air show in Rome, Georgia; Spencer and I stayed home with the dogs and enjoyed a leisurely, sunny Sunday.

Spencer and I enjoy a quiet day
together.

After brunch at IHOP, we loaded up the dogs and went for a hike at Charlie Elliott.  It was a perfect, brisk, leaf crunching day.  Spencer and I rarely get to spend time alone together, and we enjoyed sharing our thoughts and hopes on the quiet, wooded trail.  We saw heron and egret, and too many squirrels to count.  

The highlight of our hike came while I was throwing the ball for Jake near the pond.  Embarrassingly afraid of water, I hadn't been able to get Jake to step foot in the pond though I had been making every effort over the last two months.  Even with his beloved tennis ball at the edge of the water, he would walk up and look at the water, then leap back as if the water itself was going to get him.  Some labrador!

This afternoon, however, he was in a frisky mood and was very excited about his ball.  I threw the ball just a couple of feet out into the pond.  Splash!  He leaped in and grabbed it before he had given himself a chance to think.  On the next throw, I sent it out a little farther.  Just a moment's hesitation, and then Sploosh!  In he went.  By the fifth throw, he was leaping and swimming as if he'd been doing it for years.

Spencer noticed Audrey looking at Jake's water-loving behavior as if he was crazy.  In contrast to his dripping, muddy body, Audrey stood primly on the shore and took little drinks from the pond.  We laughed and continued our hike around the pond, noting the beautiful patterns made by the breeze across the water.

A quiet, sunny Sunday.

Cuddle Therapy

Jake the Dog

Jake seems to have found his vocation: therapy dog.

Jake may not be much of a hunting dog.  He may be uninterested in agility work; but he is always interested in being your friend.

This week, Jake not only joined me while I taught yoga (lying quietly in downward dog for over 90 minutes), but he accompanied us to the Montessori School while I taught writing. In addition to playing ball with children at recess, Jake began a cuddle corner where any child could spend time petting and talking to him.  It was a beautiful sight.

When I saw formerly anxious students sighing deeply and resting beside Jake, I realized (maybe for the first time) that the comfort and emotional support of a soft, loving pet is real therapy for many people. 

Although he has not yet taken his Therapy Certification test, we are very happy to begin thinking of Jake as a therapy dog.

Cuddle Therapy

Another Homeschooling Adventure . . . with Lions and Tigers and Bears

Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida.
What a great way to spend a Monday!
Glad we're homeschooling!

While almost everyone we knew was enjoying summer vacation, the boys were doing a few hours of homeschool every day.  Their work paid off with a belated summer vacation this past week.

The boys . . . just before the DRENCHING.

John and I felt comfortable taking a week off to go to Busch Gardens in Tampa and then the beach at Santa Rosa Island in Pensacola, Florida.  We all had a wonderful time.

Although not normally a fan of theme parks, Busch Gardens was a joy for all of us-- very few people, plenty of rollercoasters, plenty of imaginatively themed sections (an Ancient Egypt area, jungle themed area, serengeti plains, etc.), and plenty of happy looking wild animals to see and enjoy.

Although we are now back home doing laundry and trying to remember what is due for writing class and algebra this coming week, it was good to spend effortless time together as a family . . . just being happy together.

Denver gets to pet a kangaroo!

The boys on the log flume

The viewing station inside the lion's den

Denver prepares for the
Cheetah rollercoaster

Our kind of safari

Postcards from Pensacola: No one Wanted to Leave

Kayaking, sailboating, boogie boarding, snorkeling.

Spencer sleeping in.

One of the views from our balcony.
Photo by John Robert

Two Pals.

Relaxing outside a great restaurant.

John and I took walks on the beach.

John Robert spent a lot of time
looking at the ocean.

I'm loving it!

A full moon and lunar eclipse!

Sunset over the pier on Santa Rosa Island in Pensacola, Florida.
Photo by John Robert

He is so Good

Adam Crack and his awesome performance at the Renaissance
Festival.  How many childhood rules is he breaking?
Playing with fire, being loud, using a whip!

Last week, I had a meeting and took Spencer and Denver with me. They sat off to one side playing quietly with their Kindles, eating snacks, and whispering.  As we were leaving, one of the attorneys in the meeting commented loudly to me, "Your boys are so good!  I could never bring my kids to a meeting and expect them to be quiet."

This got me started thinking about whether good = quiet; and the way we value characteristics in children that are not valued at all in adults.  

Have you ever heard someone say of an adult, "Oh!  He's so quiet.  He can sit in one place for hours.  You hardly know he's there"?  Or how about, "He does exactly what you ask him to do without complaining."  (Okay, maybe we fantasize about that one a bit with regard to our spouses).

When it comes to infants, a good baby is one who doesn't cry and sleeps a lot.  A grown man who doesn't cry is "not in touch with his emotions" and if he sleeps too much, he's lazy.

Studies show that when parents are asked what characteristics they want for their children as adults, we get a list that includes these characteristics in nearly every parent's Top Ten: 
Curious, Creative, Independent, Honest, Problem Solver.


Nurturing those characteristics in our children is not easy, is it?  It requires allowing children to make their own decisions, explore areas of interest we don't value, and allowing our children to make mistakes.  It requires tolerating occasional disruptive behavior (disruptive to us, not to them).  Not easy when we're caught in the good=quiet mindset.  

I confess that I didn't mind when the attorney praised my children's behavior (even though the praise was not very thoughtful).  But I'm trying to let go of it, and value the loud, opinionated, mess making behavior even more.

Learning: It's All Connected

Yesterday in writing class at the Montessori School, the students were surprised when I pulled out a science kit to do some experiments.  We enjoyed a magic trick, too, and then talked and wrote about them-- changing our words to meet the needs of different age audiences.

Students enjoy creating a commercial for
an imaginary product.  Should it be
categorized as writing, drama,
art, public speaking? 

Math, Architecture, and Cultural Studies?

Like most children, my school students have learned to divide education into subjects: math, history, science, writing, etc.  There are textbooks to separate the categories and dividers in their notebooks. 

I used to have the same problem. It was a great insight for me to see that everything is connected all the time.

When I bake a tasty dessert using a new recipe, it is at least chemistry, physics, math, and reading.  It is history if I care to delve into the origin of the recipe.  It is art when I carefully work to make the icing or crust beautiful.  

I didn't really think about all of this until I began homeschooling and I would try to categorize our learning.  It couldn't be done! What is a hike at Charlie Elliott?  Physical education?  If we talk about the different kinds of rock, is it geology?  If we collect beautiful leaves, is it art or botany?  If we talk about Charlie Elliott himself and all the writing he did, is it history of literature?

Spencer created a new
game on his computer
yesterday: computer science?
art? Just fun?

One of the joys of homeschool is that we need not dissect learning.  Denver can create create a new building with his math manipulatives and talk about how many cubes it took and what kind of person might want to live there and I can simply . . . smile.