The Day of the Skylanders and Mama with nothing to do!

Spencer enjoys new building toys from Mimi and Paw Paw.

Denver begins building a castle.

John Robert HUGGED me hard.  "I can't even show you how happy I am," he beamed.  Yesterday morning the boys received a Wii system and Skylanders game.  Although the pictures above are evidence that they didn't spend the entire day playing-- okay, it was about seven hours!-- my three sons stood side by side in front of the system for almost the entire day, playing happily together. 

Just before dark, I invited them to take a break and go for a walk with me.  To my surprise, they all said yes.  So we strolled down the street, sometimes running, sometimes walking; everyone happy.  Spencer and Denver kept up an animated explanation of characters and events in the game.  At one point, John Robert looked at the darkening sky and said, "This Christmas and last Christmas were my very favorites."  I remembered that last Christmas he received a Nintendo DS from his Nana and Papa Dale.  "Yes," he said.  "I played all day, and when I looked up, it was getting dark.  Just like tonight."  He smiled.  I smiled.  He was so happy!

Just a few months ago, I would have been very much against allowing my children to "waste" their time on video games.  Their fascination and near obsession about something I don't care about or understand is a little unnerving.  And yet, they are having fun.  They are playing together.  Their brains do not appear to be turning to dust-- in fact, they are analyzing their characters' strengths, using strategy to win the games, memorizing a ton of facts and numbers that I would shudder to have to memorize!  Yes, their brains are definitely working!  

As our homeschooling journey continues, it is my goal to switch from the strict mother who tries to keep everyone on the path I imagine as ideal, and instead, say "Yes" whenever I can.  This comes from talking to many homeschooling parents and reading the results of clear research that shows that the only way people learn to make good decisions is by practicing making decisions.  That makes sense to me, and I want my children to make good decisions.  I certainly won't always be around to "assist" (some say "boss") them. 

This doesn't mean playing Skylanders instead of doing academics, but it may mean that when academics and chores are done, the boys can make their own decisions about how to use their time.  To my shock, I have recently found that saying Yes to the boys' requests-- whether it is a request for certain kinds of food, playing on the computer, or going somewhere-- does not result in terrible behavior!  In fact, I notice the boys making many choices that I approve of. 

Yesterday, when the boys found their stockings stuffed with treats, they asked if they could have some.  I decided to say Yes.  I never would have done this last year.  I would have said they should at least wait until after breakfast.  But this day, the boys were delighted!  They each opened one item of candy, and ate less than half before storing it away in their "secret" candy stash.  I was shocked!  I had always thought I had to constantly manage their choices.  Allowing them to make choices is so much more respectful to them and so much more peaceful and joyful for our family. 

A wise mother once said to me, "In every moment of conflict, think of two choices you could make-- spank or not, yell or not, smile or not, say yes or not-- and make the more peaceful choice."  

From the noises in the living room, it sounds like another game of Skylanders is underway.  I think I'll go ask if anyone is hungry . . . or not.